You little fuggers ain't even know how good you got it. All the porn you could ever want... THERE! Right at yer greezy fingernips. But when I was a kid, oh no. No internet. No world wide web. No nothing! We looked forward to those rare days... when the moon was full, and it had just rained, and the planets were aligned juuuuust right, so that the scrambled porn channels were slightly less scrambled than usual. It was glorious.

Those were the days.